Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I'm at my wit's end...

So, I heard about terible 2's.... nothing compared to 3's and 4's. I've thought that since my oldest is almost 5 now things should be getting better. They have in some ways. WAY worse in others.

Last Saturday Kenadee got in huge trouble for writing on her bookself with a pencil. The entire side was covered. She has started lieing and of course tried to blame it on Jack. Yah sis, he knows how to write YOUR name... She had to clean it off with no help.
Since then, she has been scowling like crazy and sticking her tongue out. These drive me CRAZY!! She's being a huge brat thinking that I won't find out about it. She hasn't learned yet that Mom's know everything. Now just barely, she colored a red crayon on one of the couches down stairs. Seriously? I don't understand! What is with all of this baby-like behavior?

This is on top of yelling and freaking out (of what seems like) over everything. She won't talk rationally to people. I've heard it a few times, I know she is capable of it. She CAN be so helpful and nice and friendly. Not so much lately. I feel like all I am saying anymore is, "TALK. Don't yell, just talk to him." "Kenadee, that is NOT appropriate."

I don't know what to do... I feel like I've tried it all. I've talked nicely and calmly. I've yelled. I've done timeouts. I've taken away her "lovey" (her cozy). Nothing is working. Hopefully this is a phase, but what do I do in the mean time? She hasn't had her cozy for days now because of bad attitudes. We woudn't be AGAINST throwing her cozy away; but then we don't have any leverage. I don't bribe with toys or treats either. I am constantly reminding her "if you want your cozy back..."

I feel like we/I are doing everything we can. We are reading our scriptures as a family, saying our prayers, having family home evening every week. I am always praying for patience. (Kenadee has heard it over and over, so now she is praying that Mom can be patient) To much of my own surprise I didn't yell over the couch or the bookshelf. I am doing so much better and know she is getting so much worse.
I've started to avoid taking the kids to stores. It feels like they are out of control. Running every where, touching everything.... I know, all of which is normal. They are bored. But I can't STAND it when they don't listen. I'm not the type of person to ignore bad behavior and hope it goes away. They are constantly almost getting lost. I'm just so tired!!!

It's one thing to do naughty stuff when they are young/confused/learning. She is so far PAST that age; I can't describe how worn out I am of this. On a brighter note, I registered her for Kindergarden this week. I am SO excited for that. One in Kindergarden, one in preschool (at the same time) I realize Fish will be harder by then, BUT one 2 year old is SO much easier than one 5, and one 4, and one 2 year old!! I guess I'm just hoping that we can make it thru the end of winter. Once spring and summer are here, I'm hoping life will be better with being outdoors and swimming.

I am very open to any advice.... So much for me trying to be positive. Wish me luck in the mean time!!

Just Edited:
So Taylor had just left his bowling league, (yah, you read right!) when I noticed the crayon on the couch... I simply gasped and told her I was throwing all the crayons away, then went upstairs and called Taylor for advice. He suggested having her be done for the night and put her in bed. I didn't want her to fall asleep so early knowing I would be the one to have to get up in the morning when she wakes up earlier, so I put her in the room and said not to come out. And now an hour after being in her room she fell asleep on the floor. I can admit it now, she still looks like an angel when she's asleep.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Well, this week was pretty uneventful. Which is good, I guess.

Last Sunday Taylor's sister, Maddie curled Kena's hair. I just recently got my first Chi, which I love. Maddie has curled her own hair with her Chi and Kenadee had been begging for me to learn how. Yes, I did learn, but when I tried it later in the week... not quite as good. Thanks, Maddie! She loved it and looks adorable! My skills need a bit improving!

Jack is officially obsessed with puzzles. He put his sister's Belle puzzle together all by himself and was SO proud of himself! Good job, dude!!

This is the best picture I could get. Ok let's be honest... I didn't try very hard. BUT Fisher has been putting all four fingers in his mouth lately. I hate it and try to stop him, but it's inevitable.

This last one is my favorite. It was hilarious to watch. Taylor shaved his face bald while the kids were asleep than went to work the next morning before anyone was awake. First of all, Taylor HARDLY EVER shaves bald. He'll trim in short, but bald doesn't happen. So when Tay comes home from work, Fisher runs up his Dad just as excited as every day... than pauses..... stone cold face..... staring at his Dad. He knew it was Taylor, but something wasn't right. I love that kid. He is so funny and is growing up so fast.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

I just looked thru all the pictures on the camera and realized I haven't updated those for a while. Sorry, Mom; here's what we've been up to!

Taylor taught the kids how to play "thumb war." They thought it was so fun! Oh, the simple things that make them happy!

I finally went and bought more binkies after doing "the search" every night before bedtime. Fisher was so excited! He didn't even know what to do with so many binkies!! He was in heaven!

My brother came into town last weekend for a day. He flew in Friday night and drove home Sunday morning. He came up to buy our Prizm. Even though it was a quick trip it was great to see him! My kids love him!!

Showing uncle Clint his helicopter.

At Pizza Factory! YUMMY!

This one is of Fisher today; he's my first child that has fallen asleep in a highchair. I thought he looked so cute with his chubby cheeks!

Friday, February 13, 2009

I don't like the look of this

Most people like the look of these lower gas prices; ours here in Utah are actually lower. (I got this picture from the internet) Us, in the Beck household, DON'T like them this low. Let me explain... Taylor works at USSynethic. They make synthetic diamonds for drill bits for oil rigs. The price of oil has dropped which means there aren't as many rigs running, which means the oil companys aren't running all of their rigs and don't go through their diamonds as quickly. All of that equals less demand at USSynthetic.

For the last few months the company cut back and no one was allowed to work OT. They got rid of all their temps. Even though the company had roughly 600 employees their full-time equivelant was over 700. Still needing to cut back more, they announce this week that layoffs will be necessary. At first they offered a severance package and if enough don't take it, then ... you know. This puts Taylor in a tough spot. He's a supervisor, and his job is more secure than others, but he is pretty sure that some of his guys will lose their jobs. Tate has been sick this week but has been working, to be there for his guys and relieve some of their stress. (if that is possible)

I feel so bad for my husband. He is so stressed and is emotionally at his last straw. He likes the guys he works with, yet some HAVE to leave. They have families and need the insurance. What is sad, is that this is probably the first round of layoffs. So, personally I'd happily pay more per gallon at the gas pump if that means more job security.
Here are examples of what the diamonds look like...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

one more SMILE

I am almost embarressed that I didn't have this originally but... I love Cafe Rio!!! Their Tuesday special is coconut shrimp tacos with mango sauce. WOW! Words can't explain how yummy they are!! I could go every Tuesday and eat them up. I want more already and I just had them for lunch 5 1/2 hours ago. DELICIOUS!! I hope I have made my point; go next week and try them for yourself!

Friday, February 6, 2009

bitter vs. sweet

So, this post is pretty ironic after my last "grateful" one. I am feeling so overwhelmed. Jackson hardly takes naps anymore; and I can't handle the naughty boy that is around instead of the rested, peaceful one. Kenadee's talking back has worn me out! Plus I've had a cold for two weeks now. I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually a sinus infection or even RSV. I'm actually feeling the best today, but I also felt that way one week ago... then it got worse...
On another note. I can't stop thinking of my friend, Jayna. She is pregnant with triplets. Two identical girls and one boy. This is on top of her 4.5 year old girl and 19 month old boy. She is at 23 weeks and was just admitted to the hospital. The drugs and at-home bedrest didn't stop the contractions, so it's bedrest at the hospital. Her husband has a job that isn't very flexible. My heart goes out to her! There is only so much that a person can deal with; yet this couple sounds calm and is quickly coming up with a plan.
Anyways, so with this mixture of odd feelings, I am trying to keep it positive. Below are some things that always put a smile on my face:

I LOVE the show 24! I'm so glad that Tony Almeida is back! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this show!

I love dessert. Nearly any kind. Cookies are awesome! Love the frosting, or sprinkles, or milk chocolate, or white chocolate, or M&M's. You name it, I love them.

Sleep. I love to sleep! Taylor has been turning on cartoons in the morning for kids; which lands about an extra 30 minutes of sleep. Yah, keep judging everyone. You'll do the same thing, or are jealous that is actually works. I love my husband; he's so good to me!

Yoga. We did this same one today. It's a tree pose. You are pushing your leg into your groin, while pushing back with your opposite thigh. Yoga is a butt kicker. It's a new love of mine. (it totally balances out the cookies, right?!)

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I am so blessed

So, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. My thoughts seem so scattered, so I hope this makes sense. I really have been so blessed. I am normally kind of a negative person ( I can mask it pretty good!) and I am working hard to change how I automatically respond so negatively. I guess I have made it easier to find the fault, than to find the joy.
We have a few friends lately go through some big trials. It's hard not to say too much, the personal stuff isn't meant to be shared. One friend in particular; my heart goes out to. He hasn't deserved what has happen to him... Having witnessing these trials, makes me realize that I truely have nothing to complain about!

I have an amazing husband. Even through all my negitivety, Taylor sees my potiential and helps me along the way. He is so easy going and a genuienly a happy person. (we are defianetly opposites in this way!) He could care less about how much he makes, or having stress thinking he needs to make more. He is always just content with life. He is happy with what he has. I hope to gain this attribute! I love you, honey!

I don't think I have ever written a HONEST post of how hard my kids were on a specific day. I won't lie now, we have our moments were we don't get along. Kenadee argues that she is right and talks back. Jackson is so slow... at everything. It could take him 30-45 minutes to eat a meal. If you gave him 20 minutes to get ready to go (potty, shoes, and jacket) it wouldn't be enough time. Many times he doesn't try to get his shoes on and just whines for help. Those tiny things being said: I HAVE AMAZING KIDS!! Jackson has the softest heart. Kenadee is extremely helpful. Yes, they are normal people and have their days; BUT I have nothing to complain about. I couldn't ask for any better. It is very embarrasing to see Kenadee be negative, when I KNOW it was a learned behavior. She has seen me act that way... But, I am not going to allow myself to be depressed about it. We are all learning and doing to best we can. I am really trying to let them be kids. Kids make messes. Kids get sidetracked when asked to get ready to go. I love my kids so much!

I am so grateful for myself. I'll keep explaining, don't worry! I started going with a friend to our neighborhood exercise class 3 days a week. I'm in pretty good shape. I exercise, eat good; I always have. Yet, I walk away from the class sore...everyday. We do yoga for half the class on Friday and I love it. It is way harder than I ever thought it was, yet I am so grateful and blessed that my body can do the things I want it to. I am so grateful that I have been able to get pregnant so easily with all of my kids. No "surprises", no miscarriages. What a blessing! So many people struggle to do something, that is so simple for my body to do.

This has been way longer than I ever planned on. If anyone has actually read all of it here is your reward... some cute pictures! Enjoy!!

We bought some Colts hats for the kids and Jackson LOVES his! He goes to sleep with it on. When he woke me up this morning, it was on his little head; I love that kid.

Then just a cute boy! I love him!!